If someone where to ask me, "So Ryan, is it this the end of a love story?" my response would simply be "No. That was just the prologue."
Amber left today on her flight back to singapore, marking the end of the two years she stayed her for the last years of her education. It was a weird experience. While we sat in the coffee place before her flight we laughed and talked as everything was normal. It only sunk in that I won't see her for years after i hugged and kissed her goodbye and turned away. Luckily my friend Aaronkyle was there to support me. I didn't turn back round to wave. I knew while clutching to Aaronkyle that if I were to look back round at her again it would be the last time for at least a year.
The last 20 months of my life have been some of the brightest of my life. They have been filled with good times, and bad. During the past 20 months I have got my first proper job, done AS and A-levels, passed my driving test, turned 18, got ordained and finished school. In the last 20 months I have also started up the best relationship anybody could have. In one single person I had a girlfriend, a buddy, a chum, a friend, a BEST friend, a confident, an advisor, a comforter, a tutor, a penpal, an assistant, a secretary, a minder, an agent, a dysfunctional alarm clock ^_^, a motivator, a planner, a copartner, a sidekick, a comrade, and a companion. On the 25th of October 2007 this relationship began. On the 25th June 2009, exactly 20 months later, Amber left to go home again. While the relationship status may have been dropped to a cyber level (email, msn and skype), it won't stop Amber continuing to be the buddy, the chum, the friend, the BEST friend, the confident, the advisor, the comforter, the tutor, the penpal, the assistant, the secretary, the minder, the agent, the motivator, the planner, the copartner, the sidekick, the comrade, and the companion she has been. I doubt she'll make as good an alarm clock though.
Tonight is the first night in a long time I'm going to bed without anyone calling to say goodnight or ILYs. I feel hollow and alone. It still feels surreal. I feel like I'll wake up in the morning because amber's ringing me, and i'll answer and she'll apologize for waking me. I feel like if I call her now she'll answer. I guess I need to start getting used to the fact that my buddy, my chum, my friend, my BEST friend, my confident, my advisor, my comforter etc etc isn't going to be as readily available as she used to. The situation calls for independence on my part. My regret is that I didn't take advantage of her availability as much as I could of while she was here. My prayer is that we will both adjust to the difference soon.
As I got to my car after leaving the airport my phone vibrated with a text from Amber, quoting a song I had long forgotten, which I must have played to her only once, well over a year ago. It said Michael Stipe's words from the REM song Leaving New York: "It's easier to leave than to be left behind." Today this lyric became so much more meaningful and understanding to me.
Goodnight readers.